Duties as a Parent

For sunday school I'm attending the Marriage and Family Relations class offered in our ward.  The first couple of lessons we've discussed The Family: A Proclamation to the World and how we are applying it to our lives.  Today we discussed the duties as a parent on what and how we are to each our children.  In Relief Society we had a lesson on Repentance.  Here are my thoughts during these discussions.

 

• Our children belong to us under our stewardship as we live here on Earth.
• We are to teach them the principles of the Gospel that can bring eternal happiness. We do this by example. 
• We are to Love them, care for them, provide for physical/spiritual needs, teach them, serve them, observe the Commandments and abide the laws of the land.
• These attributes help me see my children as the Lord sees them -- precious spirits who deserve our unconditional love
•  "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. "
• As I ponder back on this week, I can remember when I've lost my temper a couple times with them.  I hear myself raising my voice, I see my children tearing up, I hear myself disciplining and teaching the correct way to do something.  But as I ponder about what my duties are to them, I see how much the yelling hurts them.  Such tender and innocent feelings don't need to be hurt by unnecessary yelling bc I was too short on patience. 
• Coincidentally, the Relief Society lesson today was on the steps of repentance.  First one being recognize. I recognize that I need to be more patient with my kids.  After all, they are just kids being kids.  Albeit clumsy, selective hearing and curious...I must love them unconditionally like our Heavenly Father loves us. 
• I talked with my daughter about this today.  I told her about the lesson and the different steps of repentance.  We discussed how when we ask for forgiveness and try to forsake the sin, that we cannot always do it by ourselves. That sometimes we need to ask for help.  I told her that I was praying for help from Heavenly Father that I can use a more calming voice and that I also needed her help.  I asked her to help remind me.  She then replied that we needed a new rule: We must use inside voices...except on birthdays! (Her words: Then we can shout for joy).  So we agreed that we would only use inside voices towards each other.
• That is my goal this week -- to improve on my patience and use a more calming voice when I try to discipline my children. A comment in Relief Society helped me better understand what forsaking means.  It means you try to not repeat that sin.  I don't know about you, but NOT ever repeating the same sin (forsaking it completely) just seems impossible. The thought that helped me was this:  We inherently are not perfect so we will make mistakes.  Although if we make the same mistake what matters is how much progress we are making in 100% forsaking the sin.  Perhaps last week I had only 5% patience for my kids, but this week I managed to have 10% patience for them.  Even though I may not be perfect at patience, I am diligently seeking to improve on it.  That made me feel better about myself.   Making small improvements on it until I can conquer patience...now that is possible...a journey to master it.  That seems more realistic. 
• Even though I haven't blogged about my reading the BOM, I am reading it.  And I am seeing it in a whole new light.  It is weird to have this experience every time.  It seems that each time I read it, the words are more and more urgent in their pleadings for us to REMEMBER, to be THANKFUL/GRATEFUL, to REPENT.

Fill In the Blank

Dear Sisters,

O.K. This is a multiple choice test...have fun with it...see if you can fill in the blank correctly:1. _____________will bring upon us the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

A. Disregard for the legal system
B. Lack of religion
C. Disintegration of the family
D. War and economic problems

So...do you think you know the right answer? It is in "A Proclamation to the World." It reads, "...we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets."Wow! The success of the family as a unit of society is more important than our nation's military power, our healthcare, our educational system, our financial position, etc. What can we do as individuals to help ensure strong families? Elder Ballard made three suggestions in the 1995 November Liahona:"1. Be consistent in holding daily family prayer and weekly family home evenings. Both of these invite the Lord’s Spirit, which provides the help and power we need as parents and family leaders. The Church curriculum and magazines have many good ideas for family home evening. Also consider holding a family testimony meeting where parents and children can express their beliefs and feelings to each other in a private and personal setting.2. Teach the gospel and basic values in your home. Establish a love for reading the scriptures together. Too many of our parents are abdicating this responsibility to the Church. While seminary, auxiliaries, and priesthood quorums are important as a supplement to parental gospel instruction, the main responsibility rests in the home. You might want to choose one gospel subject or a family value and then watch for opportunities to teach it. Be wise and do not involve children or yourselves in so many activities out of the home that you are so busy that the Spirit of the Lord cannot be recognized or felt in giving you the promised guidance for yourself and your family.3. Create meaningful family bonds that give your children an identity stronger than what they can find with their peer group or at school or anyplace else. This can be done through family traditions for birthdays, for holidays, for dinnertime, and for Sundays. It can also be done through family policies and rules with natural and well-understood consequences. Have a simple family economy where children have specific chores or household duties and receive praise or other rewards commensurate to how well they do. Teach them the importance of avoiding debt and of earning, saving, and wisely spending money. Help them learn responsibility for their own temporal and spiritual self-reliance."It is exciting that in these troubled times each of us has a great role to play in the most important work that can be done on Earth or in the heavens...the work of building strong families! It is getting harder and harder...but there is One who is on our side...and I believe He will guide us completely as we humble ourselves and listen to His voice.

Love to all,
Sister A. L.
First Counselor Alexandria Stake Relief Society

Strenthen Home and Family

Sister Mary N. Cook:
*"The Lord is depending on you to bring the blessings of the gospel to your family."
*"As you personally study the scriptures, you will come to know the Savior and His teachings. From His example you will know how to love, serve, and forgive members of your family."
*"As you live worthily and renew this covenant weekly [baptism through taking of the Sacrament bread/water], you will qualify for the guidance of the Spirit. The Holy Ghost will guide you and will teach you what you should do to bless your family.
*4-point program to assure my happiness and bless my family, too.
1. Pray
2. Study scriptures
3. Pay your tithing
4. Attend your meetings
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I especially liked how she turned it around and asked...how could my prayer or my studying the scriptures, etc help any of my family members? So much food for thought!